Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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