How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
