put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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