I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
