I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
