just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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