38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
