Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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