Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
