i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
