He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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