Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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