it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
