Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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