You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
