last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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