I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
