that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Boobs speak an international language.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
