RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I could fuck to npr.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
