His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
