I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Come on in and take your pants off
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