some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
