After last night, I could never be a politician.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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