The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
