Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
