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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it because I queefed?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
