Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And then my night got REAL pukey
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
