First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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