my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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