I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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