I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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