used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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