I wanna bring you to show and tell
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
