You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
