No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
