420 ftw
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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