There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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