Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
