I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
