I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i think my cat just said my name.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
