It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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