This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
