Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
