I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
