Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
