after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
