party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
