Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
