Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
