I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
