Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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