some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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