the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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