well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize