I'm eating all of the evidence.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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